The Golden Egg Limo

Ride of the Chief Executive Qwacker

Chauffeured, obviously. The duck in the back never touches the wheel.

The Spare-Parts Scout

Ride of the Director of Hardware, Research, and Scouting

A drone held together with zip ties and confidence. Do not touch it.

The DuckPod

Ride of the Chief Technology Officer

Self-driving, self-cleaning, and smarter than all of us.

The Scholar Shuttle

Ride of the Director of Higher Pond Education

A bookmobile with wings. Pop quiz at every red light.

The Duckling Express

Ride of the Director of Duckling Development

One giant stroller, twelve ducklings, zero brakes.

The Mighty Zamboni

Ride of the Chief Puck Officer

Duck-sized. Ice smooth. Victory laps mandatory.

The Rolling Smokehouse

Ride of the Director of Brisket & Roadside Provisions

Slow-smoked brisket worth missing your exit for. Just follow the smell.

The Suggestion Scooter

Ride of the Director of Flock Resources

Comes with a suggestion box and a ‘How’s my waddling?’ sticker.

The Waddle-In Wagon

Ride of the Director of Quack Care

An ambulance for beaks, wings, and feelings. The siren goes ‘quack.’

The Dream Cruiser

Ride of the Chief Nap-time Coordinator

A four-poster bed on wheels. Top speed: 2 mph. On purpose.

The Gummy-Bear Engine

Ride of the Chief Rescue Qwacker

A tiny fire truck. Zero to gummy bear in three seconds flat.

The Dam Patrol

Ride of the Head of Beaver Security

An armored canoe. Nothing gets past the dam. Nothing.

The Quilted Wagon

Ride of the Director of Patchwork & Warm Fuzzies

A covered wagon wrapped in patchwork. Scraps in, heirlooms out.

The Polish-Bottle Roadster

Ride of the Director of Talon Artistry

A nail-polish-bottle convertible. Top down, claws out.

The Leg-Day Unicycle

Ride of the Director of Feather and Physique Restoration

Powered entirely by leg day. Which is every day.

The Confetti Bus

Ride of the Chief Party Fowl

A party bus with confetti cannons. The confetti budget is a line item.

The Encore Express

Ride of the Chief Rock Qwacker

A guitar-shaped tour bus. It only plays encores.

The Sideline Cart

Ride of the Head Qwack Attack Coach of Qwacker High School

Megaphone, whistle, and a cooler of orange slices. Fear the feathers.

The Very Confused Blimp

Ride of the Director of Webbed and Winged Transportation

It’s a bus. It’s a boat. It’s a blimp. It’s confused. All aboard!

The Aisle Seven Cart

Ride of the Director of Purchasing

An industrial shopping cart with a barcode scanner. Probably aisle seven.

The Diplomatic Sub

Ride of the Director of Oceanic Relations

A tiny submarine with portholes. Diplomacy happens at high tide.

The Trifecta Trolley

Ride of the Chief Betology Officer

Greg gives it 3-to-1 odds of starting on cold mornings.

The Bourbon Barrel Buggy

Ride of the Baroness of Corn Mash & Cattails

Aged to perfection and street legal in Kentucky. The hat rack is the entire roof.

The Pineapple Cruiser

Ride of the Director of Taste & Testing

A test kitchen on wheels wearing a leafy crown. Her Tropical Mango Chili Shrimp tastes even better at 30 mph.

The Wildcat Wagon

Ride of the Head Coach of the Qwacker Wildcats

The horn is a whistle, and the playbook is the map.

The Hard-Hat Hauler

Ride of the Director of Bricks & Qwacks

It builds the road while it drives on it.

The Drop-Top Decks

Ride of the Director of Drops & Decks

Every red light is a set break; every green light is the drop.

The Hydrant Hauler

Ride of the Chief of the Hose & Ladder Brigade

A fire hydrant on wheels, ladder on top and hose on the side. The siren goes WEE-woo-QWACK.

The Hearse & Verse

Ride of the Director of Haunted History

A lantern-lit tour carriage with its own fog machine. The fog is historical ambiance. Kenny checked.

The Cafetera Cruiser

Ride of the Director of Cubanito Qwaqueso

A cafetera on wheels. It brews at red lights, and the whole campus can smell it coming.

The Cornvoy

Ride of the Director of Fly-a-way Freight and Migration

An 18-wheeler with a duck-bill bumper and a whole corn cob for a trailer. It doesn't haul corn. It IS corn. Jimmy regrets nothing.

The Rickshaw

Ride of the Sensei of the Empty Wing

Hand-pulled by the Sensei herself and usually full of ducklings on their way to class. It is transportation, training, and a lesson all in one — the lesson is for whoever thought pulling it would be the easy part.

The Big Bass Buggy

Ride of the Director of Fish Stories

Half truck, half bass boat. The fish in the back gets bigger every mile.

The Antler Smoker

Ride of the Grand Antler Governor

A rolling cookout with antlers on the hood. The lodge follows the smell.

The Fast Lane

Ride of Stacia Splashberry, Dean of Puddle Academy

A lane-line convertible in racing red, with gold-medal hubcaps and goggles for a windshield. It has never been overtaken, mostly because Stacia drives it the way she swims — flat out, perfect form. On school days it doubles as the Puddle Academy shuttle, which means the back seat is full of hatchlings holding their breath at every puddle, just in case.

The B-10

Ride of Terri Daubenballz, Chief BEAKO Ball Advisor

A giant bingo ball you can drive. B-10 in blue on the body, and the wheels are bingo balls too — E-20, K-50 up front, A-40 — every number ending in 0 and every letter sitting in its proper range, because Terri does not tolerate an out-of-range ball, on the road or on the card. The little cage on the roof is not decorative. It spins. Passengers ride in the back and are expected to daub along.

The Help-Wanted Skateboard

Ride of the Now Hiring

Transportation to be determined by applicant.